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'Aunt Mildred': Sent by Rod Stoneman
Ageing Aunt Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken in any case.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she call her doctor's surgery to enquire just exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left nipple. Later that night....Mildred was admitted to hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
 
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