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LATEST 5 JOKES
'magic golfball': Sent by joe appleton
one day i was playing a round of golf with my mates,on the first tee i said to them" hey guys ive got a magic golf ball thats impossible to lose", no way,they said prove it,okay i said and promptly drove it into the deep rough,we walked knee deep into said rough and heard a high pitched beep coming from my ball,i walked up to it and picked it it.next tee i drove it deep into the woods amongst bracken and fallen leaves where it was quite dark,we walked in and there was a bright light shining from my ball,i walked straight to it and picked it up.well my mates were astounded,"we want one" i will pay anything please tell us where to get one from,so i replied i would tell you if i knew but i found this one!!!!!!! {think about it.!!}
 
'A Golfer's Love Story': Sent by Vance Raeburn
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant.

While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket, and ask you a life- changing question,it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read aboutgolf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are, and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that, for the last five years, I've been a hooker."

Ed replied, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball..."
 
'Playing golf with the Big Guy': Sent by Nicola
Playing Golf with the Big Guy

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.

The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."
 
'RESPECT.': Sent by BRIAN W BEATTIE
Two men fishing beside a bridge over a canal on a sunny day,
happily chatting about the weather and daily items of interest,
when a hearse and five cars passed over the bridge where they
were fishing, one fisherman stood up removed his hat and bowed
his head as a mark of respect, his fishing partner said "what a lovely
thing to have done, do you know that person who has died" he replied
" the wife" we have been married for twenty years.
 
'Beginners Luck': Sent by reginald stamp
Having just received a present of a set of clubs,a woman decided to jump straight in for a round of golf.
She couldn't believe it when on her first drive ,she managed to get a hole in one.
She made her way towards the next hole.
Someone shouted fore and she was immediately struck on the head with a ball and knocked down senseless
Recovering later in hospital she was asked where the ball had hit her.
Between the first and second holes she replied
Oh dear, the doctor replied, that doesn't leave much room for a plaster.
 
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